The Melonheads
by Jet556
Summary: Bruits of the Melonheads, animals with a secret radix arise from Norrisville.
1. ACT I

**Welcome everyone. Enjoy and review.**

 **ACT I**

In areas throughout America, denizens report sightings of anomalous deviant animals. Sometimes they were mistaken for children but ones with hideously buckled craniums. As epics had it, they peregrinated the backcountry with nowhere to call home, nothing to lose, spreading alarm throughout the country.

They were called Melonheads and they came to be in the 1930's. An evil doctor known as Dr. Crow had opened up an orphanage and behind those walls transmogrified orphan children into animals. Whatever it was Dr. Crow did to the orphans his rule of alarm soon came to an abusive climax. The Melonheads rose up, fought back and took revenge and then burned down the residence that had served as the orphanage.

It would seem too anomalous to believe but Melonheads had been sighted over the years. They were described as being three and a half feet tall and were seen often in the carnivals and the aberration exhibitions. Unfortunately they were unwelcome in both and so they just used the carnivals and aberration exhibitions as a sanctuary that they could constantly return to from their deeds of evil until they were eventually driven out and into the backcountry. And now there was reports of Melonheads here in Norrisville.

But thoughts of Melonheads were not on Ken Finlayson's mind. He merely sat at home watching "Quentin Durward" with his girlfriend Heidi Weinerman. It was the adaptation of an historical novel written in 1823 that was about a Scottish archer in the service of Louis XI of France, the film itself having been made in 1955. It had action, adventure, a bit of education and of course romance. Ken had seen it twice before while Heidi had never seen it before and was thoroughly enjoying it.

"Not very fair to beat someone at chess when they are distracted." Commented Heidi.

"Even worse for that someone to make a bet when they are constantly in need of money." Added Ken.

"And I wouldn't call Crawford a paragon of manliness, valor, virtue but maybe generosity."

"Can't say I've ever heard my dad speak of Ernest Thesiger playing a paragon of anything. However I can agree when Quentin says that Isabella is one of the most beautiful and extraordinary women he has ever met, since I have one of the most beautiful and extraordinary girls I've ever met right beside me."

Heidi blushed at this compliment. It was a compliment filled with truth and the affection that was in Ken's heart. "Uh, so, is Louis really in league with De la Marck?"

"I'm not sure how much, I think Louis is just more of a morally grey character while De la Marck is very much morally—" The ringing of the phone caused Ken to sigh. He really hoped it was a glass salesman. Getting up from the couch and walking over to the phone, Ken looked over to Heidi who was completely absorbed in the movie. "Hello, are you a glass salesman?"

"I take it this is a bad time." That was Cerdic Warburton's voice.

"Mr. Warburton, hello, how'd you get my number?" asked Ken. "Did you go through Niall's contact book?"

"No, actually my wife did."

"Oh, speaking of which when is her due date?"

"It was last week, it is a girl, her name is Sarah, Niall is a very happy big brother and my wife is finally treating him nicely. Robert on the other hand is rather angry that there is no longer any parental favoritism putting him on a pedestal which is why I call."

"W-What did Robert do to Sarah?"

"What? Nothing. He might be bad but he wouldn't stoop to hurting a neonate." And then it hit Ken. His dad and Niall's dad were basically the same person. They were both men who spoke in the interesting ways, which influenced how their sons spoke, one was purblind and the other game… They both had given names that had 'I' and 'C' in them. That was about all he had. "Rather, Niall went to the library."

"So why are you calling me?"

"It's not that he's in trouble, me and his mother are just worried about him. He went to the library three hours ago. He is quite the fleet wayfarer so it only takes him about twenty to thirty minutes to get there from our house and he would not be at the library for more than half an hour. He may have accidentally turned off his phone since I could not reach him. I've called the Cunningham's, I've called the Weinerman's, I've called the Hensletter's and they have not seen him. Has he stopped at your house?"

"He has not. Have you tried the Fowler's? How about the Kang's?"

"I have and they have not seen him either. I'd go out looking for him myself but with my leg I won't be able to spread that much ground and I do not think it a good idea for Ulrica to be far from Sarah."

"I'm guessing Robert isn't home either."

"Your belief is correct and thus why we are really worried!"

"Yeah, I'll be getting out." Ken hung up and looked over at Heidi. "Darling, you'll be here when I get back?"

"Yes, be safe." Replied Heidi.

"I shouldn't be gone long, hopefully I'll be back soon."


	2. ACT II

**Welcome back everyone. Enjoy and review.**

 **ACT II**

With his wrists duct taped together around a tree and a strip over his mouth, Niall struggled to get free. How long had he been struggling for? He had lost track of time. He had just been trying to get free.

As he struggled he heard a half-human sound. It was like a… He wasn't sure what it was like. He only knew that it sounded half-human. Did someone of Norrisville turn into a monster? No, that was impossible! There had not been any people turning into monsters since that thing with the Ninja and the evil cyborg Julian and the eviler wizard.

Leaning over a bit to see what was making the sound, Niall discovered that there was nothing there. This only caused him to realize that whatever was making the sound was right behind him!

Turning, Niall saw a wee humanoid with a bloated cranium. It was one of those whatever Ken called them! Lemon Craniums or Melon Crowns or something!

Now, Niall was hardly a strong boy but seeing that thing made him so scared that it gave him enough strength to break free from his bonds and run in the opposite direction of the one that the Lemon Cranium had come from! He wasn't exactly sure but he believed the Lemon Cranium was chasing him! Being only four foot nine, Niall wasn't the fastest person either but as the old saying went, fear gives you wings and indeed it did.

He removed the strip of tape that was over his mouth and, something very out of character for the very quiet Niall, screamed for help. It wasn't even necessary since he had outrun the Lemon Cranium as quickly as a cheetah might a tortoise. He had been that frightened.

Thanks to contrived coincidence, Niall had run into Ken. Quite literally, he had run into Ken, knocked him over and was nearly responsible for Ken's head getting run over by a car. If Ken did not have fast reflexes he would have died.

"Niall!" Ken exclaimed. "W-Where, where have you gotten to?"

"The forest!" replied Niall. "There was a Lemon Cranium!"

"A what?"

"A Lemon Cranium! One of those little things with the big heads!"

"For goodness sake, Niall! Melonheads! They are called Melonheads!" Ken stood up and pointed at the sidewalk. "Go home! Your parents are worried!"

"M-My parents?" asked Niall. "B-Both of them?"

"Yes! Now go!"

Niall ran on home and Ken returned back to his house. He returned back to Heidi who had just finished watching "Quentin Durward." It had taken Ken that long.

"You're back, what took you?" asked Heidi.

"I have no idea." Replied Ken. "It is a completely different story that may or may not get written." He walked over and kissed her only for Heidi's phone to go off. "For the love of Angus! Now who is calling?"

"No one, it's just a reminder that I should start heading home at nine since we have a big day tomorrow, heading out to Moretown."

"Ah jeez." Sighed Ken. "I thought we agreed on Montpelier."

"We did but you changed your mind." Reminded Heidi. "Using the reasoning that going somewhere with something as monstrous as the Pigman may keep uninvited guests from showing up."

"We can only hope." Said Ken. "We can only hope."

 **THE END**


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